Life
so much has happened since the last time i blogged..my lungs collapsed, TWICE(right first then left) and had to go for 2 major surgeries..one hell of a painful experience..had tubes stickin outta me..Praise God it's all over and everything's fine now..
worse, jus few months before e end of last yr i had to jus do smth so so stupid n brainless...consequence?? i lost my gf (also my close fren)(1) n my other close fren(2).....2 of e closest ppl in my life (other than Jesus and parents) GONE..
it's been close to half a yr since it happened...all i've eva wanted n wished for, prayed for, hoped for was tt i cld jus have them all back again, close close frens..things r pickin up slightly i guess, we're now frens..JUS FRENS..
these past 6 months have definately been 1 of the lowest, most painful periods of my life so far....losing ppl i love n cherish, havin my lungs collapsed, havin a really dry point in my spiritual walk.....everything jus took a turn for e worst overnite....everyday i wld b hurtin...every weekend when i c 1 & 2, i hurt even more...life's been so so so so hard...everyday is so damn hard to get by...if only i could turn back time...if only i could undo wad i did..if only i cld un-say wad i said...life is full of "if only"s......many wld say "move on, look ahead!", but how easy is tt?? living each day knowin there's no one u can call to chat or share ur joy n pain with...it's not as easy as callin any of my frens i have, wont u agree tt there are jus e few ppl in ur life tt u can share everything in the world with?? my "few ppl" was 1 & 2...
to make things worse, i jus had to ask 2 ytd if we were frens or close frens..and then made such a big fuss over my life n things i've been goin thru..e pain i've been feeling...all e selfishness flowin outta me...it probably widen the gap btwn us further......how much more rubbish am i goin to cause myself????
if 1 & 2 eva happen to read this, i'm really sorry....really really sorry...i really dunno wad to do..i really dunno wad i'm doin..i'm losin my head so much easier this days......if u wld jus give me another chance to b ur close fren...it'll b great..argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! help me JEsus.................please.........
worse, jus few months before e end of last yr i had to jus do smth so so stupid n brainless...consequence?? i lost my gf (also my close fren)(1) n my other close fren(2).....2 of e closest ppl in my life (other than Jesus and parents) GONE..
it's been close to half a yr since it happened...all i've eva wanted n wished for, prayed for, hoped for was tt i cld jus have them all back again, close close frens..things r pickin up slightly i guess, we're now frens..JUS FRENS..
these past 6 months have definately been 1 of the lowest, most painful periods of my life so far....losing ppl i love n cherish, havin my lungs collapsed, havin a really dry point in my spiritual walk.....everything jus took a turn for e worst overnite....everyday i wld b hurtin...every weekend when i c 1 & 2, i hurt even more...life's been so so so so hard...everyday is so damn hard to get by...if only i could turn back time...if only i could undo wad i did..if only i cld un-say wad i said...life is full of "if only"s......many wld say "move on, look ahead!", but how easy is tt?? living each day knowin there's no one u can call to chat or share ur joy n pain with...it's not as easy as callin any of my frens i have, wont u agree tt there are jus e few ppl in ur life tt u can share everything in the world with?? my "few ppl" was 1 & 2...
to make things worse, i jus had to ask 2 ytd if we were frens or close frens..and then made such a big fuss over my life n things i've been goin thru..e pain i've been feeling...all e selfishness flowin outta me...it probably widen the gap btwn us further......how much more rubbish am i goin to cause myself????
if 1 & 2 eva happen to read this, i'm really sorry....really really sorry...i really dunno wad to do..i really dunno wad i'm doin..i'm losin my head so much easier this days......if u wld jus give me another chance to b ur close fren...it'll b great..argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! help me JEsus.................please.........
Caleb Chan finally updated @
8:37 PM
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