Insignificant Me

ever felt as thought u didnt matter to the people arnd u? or maybe u mattered jus bcos u had a resposibility tt needed to be cared for?

i totally feel tt way.. wld anybody even realise i'm gone if i do dissappear(not talking about suicide)? wld they miss me n "need" me for who i am and not wad i do n contribute? i'm referring mostly to my frens(?) in church(maybe except for 1 or 2 brothers).. their not evil or bad ppl but i jus dont feel needed, cherished, loved.. when i speak, no one listens till i repeat myself a few more times.. it jus seems as though the older ones(Uni onwards) find me too young or smth.. (cant mix with most of those same age or younger cause their jus toooo childish..sadly....and also bcos in my ministry everyone's older) all this in addition to losing 2 of my closest frens.....i'm definately in one of the loneliest periods... wad wld b great wld b to have TT 2 close frens again.... "hope on caleb....wont happen anytime soon..."